Secret Diary of a Trampolinist aged (43 ¾)

Part 3 - Broken 44 but thankfully nothing else...

1 April 2003 - I've not forgotten you. I know it's been a while but I've been busy making changes to this site. Meanwhile I've continued with the bouncing and have finally got something to show for it. No not bruises, my AWARD 6 badge!! It's only taken 6 months but I've finally achieved something. The coaches have really taken things back to basic to get things right which mean no more wild summies for now. But it's still great exercise and much fun. For instance we still get quite a few exciting falls. The main cause is indecision, should I, shouldn't I? It's a bit late to pull out of your front drop or forward summi when your body is already committed. We have had some great pin-wheeling of arms and cartoon style leg peddling as people try to fight gravity and the inevitable. Thankfully everyone has landed safely and so we can all have a good laugh about it. My advise it always try and land on something soft! Look out for award 7 I can feel it coming soon.

15 April 2003 - Having come down from the excitement of achieving my grade 6 awards I was now ready to tackle the award 7. As you probably know, I have already tried and passed some of the skills for award 7 and even award 8. So it is just a case of passing the bits I can't do, except I can't do the bits I can't do. Take front drops to feet to seat drop or seat drop to feet to front drop. Personally I like to give front drops my full attention. If my face is rapidly approaching the cheese grater (my affectionate term for the bed) I don't want to be worried about what comes before or after. Therefore my front drops were all to pot and in the end I had to try something else. Onto back drops then.

Do you remember the melon theory of body tension, or Terry Tip's No.1? It's clenching your cheeks while simultaneously trying to pass a melon. Well, out of respect for our brilliant coach, who is nearly nine months pregnant, we decided to try something else. Ade (not a real name, honest) suggested I imagine a 50p coin clenched between the buttocks. The resulting body tension won the approval of the coaches so I ask Ade "Why a 50p coin?" "In case you need a spanner to extract it later" was the reply. Any further attempts at body tension were abandoned. (Note for overseas visitors: a 50p coin has seven sides, a 20p coin also has seven sides but requires a different sized spanner).

On the subject of full twist, our brilliant Coach says something like "...your head and shoulders are the heaviest part of your body so point them where you want to go...". I glanced at Ade's midriff and he looked at mine, the we both looked at our brilliant Coach's bump. Nowhere could we find evidence to support her statement.

In all the six months or so I have been bouncing no one has told me that the secret to pointing toes is that they should always point in the same direction! This was a major revelation to me as I observed how some of the good bouncers did it compared with me and Ade.

Boys (of which I class myself one) out-numbered Girls 3:1 tonight. Big "Yo" to boypower.

On the subject of straight arms. A N Other was performing some spectacularly difficult moves but was having problems keeping his arms straight. Hence Terry's Tip No. 2, "Try to imagine you are surrendering to someone with a big gun". That seemed to do the trick.

6 May 2003 - The Good the Bad and the Ugly! Good, I got my Grade 7 tonight, Bad, I had to do about 50 back drops to get there, Ugly, I kicked my own calf(!) and you should see the bruise. By the way did I mention I got my Grade 7 tonight! Also, for the first time I did back drops on the bed, millions of them.

It wasn't all work though as we had a bit of a laugh too. I did synchro with one of the adults class finest and I have to say she was not in my league (and probably thankful for that). OK, I didn't tell her the routine and I changed it as I went along but you would have thought an expert like "C" could have followed!

Ade came up with this great idea, "Time Lapse Syncho" or "Temporally Displaced Synchro". A person does a routine one week and the next week the synchro partner has to match it. Only Judges with a great memory need take this one on.

Another great idea (!). Sometime in the future there is going to be a tariff competition which all the adults could compete in. Now, I'm not above making a fool of myself in public, and I hope the rest of the adults feel the same way because I think we should have a sponsored adults competition. Everybody say yeah! Will keep you posted, meanwhile send your donations to me.

P.S. Thanks, Ash, Shaz, Hel, Sho, Han and Sars, Cardiff G2 was great fun, I didn't need my ear plugs once, let's do it again sometime. Coo, coo, it was not me it was the pigeon! I think all those backdrops have gone to my head.

20 May 2003 - I've looked at the grade 8 work and I'm firmly convinced it's going to be difficult. But the Olympics are only just over 12 months away, I still haven't heard from the selectors yet and so I thought I'd better get cracking.

I tried to do back drop half twist to feet in my head (note for work collegues, it wasn't just daydreaming!) and I was sure there was no way I could do it. When I got on the trampoline I landed facing the "wrong way" and I still don't know how. There's so much travel on this one that I might register for Air Miles™. As I said it's a long road to grade 8.

PS would it make more sense if this diary were back to front? So that new material came first and oldest last.

27 May 2003 - Ade was caught with some loose change in his pocket. I knew what he was up to; his back drops did look good though!

Finally got my badge and certificate and was shocked to see it was pink, aparently they don't do blue for boys.

I sometimes think we are taking this sport to new levels. Another great idea for novice competitions is the video vol. Video the same routine 10 times, edit the best moves together and judge that. The hidden benefits are there's no need to travel to events and the out takes could earn some money with "You've Been Framed", genius!