Secret Diary of a Trampolinist aged (43 ¾)

Part 4 - Summer has broken, but thankfully I'm still intact...

15 July 2003 - Long time, no see. Well this entry is all about seeing; mats as well but seeing mainly. To be honest it's about seeing mats.

Progress with summies (and everything else) has been very slow but something happened for the first time tonight that made a big difference. (Drum roll). I saw the mat! Not just any mat but the one being thrown in to save my bacon. The fact that I saw the end mat, throw in mat and ceiling in that order, meant that every thing was more controlled. Not Earth shattering, I know. Hardly the discovery of penicillin or rocket science but a big step for me. Next, I hope to see the end mat for the second time round so I can land my summie with more dignity!

It got me thinking how important those mats are and I was able to apply mat watching to improve my back drops. If you are a struggling amateur, like me, try this one to help with your back drops... clench your 50p, see mat, mat, mat, mat, mat, ceiling, pike. It works nearly every time for me.

My daughter's nemesis was swivel hips, well mine is seat drop to front drop. I just can't get the hands up and legs out. Every attempt ends in a perfect four point hands and knees landing. This is clearly psychological as there is no physical reason for this phenomenon. (Google award extra search engine ranking points for big words so I slipped two into that sentence!) If anyone out there has a Paul McKenna hypnotherapy tape on this subject please e-mail me your address and we can work out a deal. Otherwise I will continue to cheese grate my extremities in the pursuit of trampoline perfection.

14 August 2003 - Should this diary be about trampolining only or may we digress? The reason I ask is because I'm not bouncing for a few weeks...

While on holiday I was doing my Bay Watch impersonation; running through the surf, as you do. Suddenly, "thwack!", something popped in my left calf. I was trying to crawl back on to the beach while my family were having hysterics at my drowning man act. When they eventually tired of my agonised cries of pain, they returned to the hotel and left me on the beach confident that I was carrying little money with me and therefore nothing to loose. Such a caring bunch.

Later in casualty I learned I had torn a muscle in my calf and was administered pain killers, anti-inflammatory drugs and crutches. As if that was not bad enough, the guy taking my details asked my age and then declared "that is your problem!". "What?", I asked. "Your age", he said "That is your problem!". I could have asked him something like "Oh, I'm supposed to just curl up in my rocking chair with a good book then?" but a) I'm not that quick and b) he may have a point.

The crutches only lasted three days and then I was hobbling around again. My caring family totally disowned me because I would not "walk properly" but we still had a brilliant holiday and to prove it here is one of my holiday snaps.

The bruising has gone and I have started to exercise but I'm probably a couple weeks before my next bounce. If you didn't read the text above but were drawn to the obscene picture; this is NOT a trampoline injury, just my age!